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This blog exists only as an archive. It is a journal that serves as a window into my life as a Marine combat veteran serving in Iraq and Afghanistan; it was written with no filter, no politics and no agenda. Please feel free to follow my journey from beginning to end. Welcome to my life.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Schedule of Events

My buddy Joe from LA has recently informed of my schedule of events for this weekend, my first in California. This is a combination of what he is planning and the way I see it going down...

3:30 pm- Arrive in Hermosa
3:35- Joe and I have heated discussion on why the Badgers suck and the Packers aren't undefeated.
3:36- Joe asks why I came home if the war isn't over/why didn't I finish it/ calls me weak.
3:40- at happy hour meeting the whole crew to catch up over drinks.
7:00- Halloween party with Lauren Beattie and friends
9:30- head to the bars.
10:30- realize that I haven't drank in 7 months and I am in the company of true professionals.
10:31- determine to press on anyway.
11:00- get placed in cab by friends and sent home.

8 am- wake up to Joe cracking a beer in my face and asking me if I want my bloody mary ridiculous or insane
8:04- Joe scraps Bloody Mary plan and instead serves famous 'Jet Fuel' margaritas.
9:00- Badgers Kick off (the next 3 hours will determine my mood for the next 48 hours)
12:00- Hard to say, I could be inconsolable at this point.
12:15- get on a party bus and head to USC for the Homecoming tailgate.
12:30- arrive and realize that there are NO good looking girls that attend USC
12:34- beer bong
12:37- flip cup tourney
12:40- beer bong
12:45- repeat sequence
3:00- attend Homecoming game
9:00- snap out of Miller Lite induced haze and realize that there is an entire night of partying left to be done.
10:00- get dragged to some bar of someone else's choice for the evening.
10:03- Joe buys first of many Jaeger Bombs that I am going to regret.
2:00 am- forget where I live/ fall asleep on curb

9:00 am- Joe starts up blender and asks me how many ounces of tequila I would like in my Jet Fuel margarita.
9:05- Joe demands I don a Packers jersey, I regret to inform him my Aaron Kampman #74 is still in storage.
9:06- Joe flips out, tells me I'm not dedicated to the cause, threatens to kill me if the Packers lose due to my negligence.
9:08- Mike, Joe's brother, arrives. Attempts to diffuse the decision until he comes to the same conclusion as Joe, that I REALLY could influence the outcome of the game.
9:10- Mike and Joe mutually agree that for some reason Eli Manning will be blamed for any poor play.
10:00- Kickoff, things get intense. I keep my mouth shut for duration. At least one remote is thrown, various death threats are issued.

At some point after a Packers' victory I make the long, depressing drive back to 29 Palms.


  1. Sounds like a GREAT plan. Better than freezing your cojones off either up here or in Asscrackistan!

  2. sounds like fun if you don't od on the booze

    nothing like waking up in the emergency department having your stomach pumped

    have fun but take it easy this weekend

  3. Jake-You're hot! Thanks for being such an awesome writer and an even more awesome Marine. Have a fun weekend!

    -Una chica in San Diego

  4. Sounds like a standard issue USMC Grunt libo weekend.

    Just remember, you aint drank too much until your lips turn blue and someone has to remind you to keep breathing.

  5. Ah yes. Thoughts of a cool one really do mitigate the pain of the Badgers sucking. Party on.

    Thanks for all you do and sharing the fun and pain. Good luck with both games.

  6. Well Marine? Did you make it back in one piece? Or is there somewhere we need to start sending money to help with bail?

  7. Eli is the man! Don't hate. Welcome home, Jake! Hope everything is awesome!