My buddy Joe from LA has recently informed of my schedule of events for this weekend, my first in California. This is a combination of what he is planning and the way I see it going down...
3:30 pm- Arrive in Hermosa
3:35- Joe and I have heated discussion on why the Badgers suck and the Packers aren't undefeated.
3:36- Joe asks why I came home if the war isn't over/why didn't I finish it/ calls me weak.
3:40- at happy hour meeting the whole crew to catch up over drinks.
7:00- Halloween party with Lauren Beattie and friends
9:30- head to the bars.
10:30- realize that I haven't drank in 7 months and I am in the company of true professionals.
10:31- determine to press on anyway.
11:00- get placed in cab by friends and sent home.
8 am- wake up to Joe cracking a beer in my face and asking me if I want my bloody mary ridiculous or insane
8:04- Joe scraps Bloody Mary plan and instead serves famous 'Jet Fuel' margaritas.
9:00- Badgers Kick off (the next 3 hours will determine my mood for the next 48 hours)
12:00- Hard to say, I could be inconsolable at this point.
12:15- get on a party bus and head to USC for the Homecoming tailgate.
12:30- arrive and realize that there are NO good looking girls that attend USC
12:34- beer bong
12:37- flip cup tourney
12:40- beer bong
12:45- repeat sequence
3:00- attend Homecoming game
9:00- snap out of Miller Lite induced haze and realize that there is an entire night of partying left to be done.
10:00- get dragged to some bar of someone else's choice for the evening.
10:03- Joe buys first of many Jaeger Bombs that I am going to regret.
2:00 am- forget where I live/ fall asleep on curb
9:00 am- Joe starts up blender and asks me how many ounces of tequila I would like in my Jet Fuel margarita.
9:05- Joe demands I don a Packers jersey, I regret to inform him my Aaron Kampman #74 is still in storage.
9:06- Joe flips out, tells me I'm not dedicated to the cause, threatens to kill me if the Packers lose due to my negligence.
9:08- Mike, Joe's brother, arrives. Attempts to diffuse the decision until he comes to the same conclusion as Joe, that I REALLY could influence the outcome of the game.
9:10- Mike and Joe mutually agree that for some reason Eli Manning will be blamed for any poor play.
10:00- Kickoff, things get intense. I keep my mouth shut for duration. At least one remote is thrown, various death threats are issued.
At some point after a Packers' victory I make the long, depressing drive back to 29 Palms.