Thank you Mrs. Pittlekow for the Bucky Badger cookies that you made. They actually inspired this new strategy for winning the war in Iraq. Now some may call this a stretch, but I need you to follow me on this one, and I’m gonna need you to recall the transitive property in math.
Allright so here it goes. The Wisconsin Badger’s mascot is named Bucky. Bucky is what we call a badass. During a game against Michigan State, I saw Bucky pound the MSU mascot Sparty (a Spartan) into the turf (he and the cheerleaders actually picked him up and racked his family jewels on the goal posts). So Bucky beats down a Spartan. The Spartans, according to the movie 300, smoked the Persians, which included modern day Persians and Iraqis.
All we need to do is send Bucky over here. He wouldn’t even need a weapon, he’d just Chuck Norris round-house kick everyone in the face.
(Please, nobody email me telling me I’m a horrible person for comparing modern day Iranians and Iraqis to Xerxe’s army, this is light hearted)